Escaping the Recession... Summer Style

So Jay Leno is off the air for the time being, and I know you all miss his "the economy is so bad that..." one liners, so I figured that I'd give you a few to hold you over until his prime time show hits the air.

The economy is so bad that the Smirnoff Ice golf course slip 'n slide commercial actually looks like fun.

The economy is so bad that my first pay check tomorrow, at minimum wage mind you, will produce a high that will likely rival heroin.

The economy is so bad that elephants at the Memphis Zoo are killing their children for insurance rewards.

And finally...

The economy is so bad that you've actually made it this far into my blog.

But seriously, with the economy in the state it is, you are probably looking for things to do this summer that might save a buck or two. I know I am. So luckily, since I have ample time on my hands and a serious lack of money, I've researched a few thrifty options and feel it necessary to share them with you to help you out when you're looking for something to do this summer.

1) Happy Hour:
No this isn't just for those of you out there old enough to partake in adult beverages. Countless places have food and drink specials that usually run from four to seven or so everyday and can really make a difference in the check total. Don't get me wrong, the drink specials are great, but the food discounts are where the real money savings can be found. Some great examples of places to find such good deals are sushi restaurants, pizza parlors, hot wing joints and of course Sonic. If you find yourself getting bogged down by the sweltering summer heat, head to everyone's favorite neighborhood fast food joint and get slushes two for one, everyday from two to four.

However, if you are interested in adult bevs, I would suggest trying Dundee's Honey Brown. It's a quality beer with a great taste for roughly $7.99 a twelve pack.

2) Stay-cations:
While there are still some people out there that can afford to head to the Caribbean for a week long stay at a five star resort, most of us commoners are trying to find better, more cost efficient ways to spend our hard earned vacation time. So the logical choice is to stay home and relax. Find things to do in your own city or places nearby that you've never done before. I know that in my own home town, there are still tons of tourist destinations I have yet to visit or haven't visited in some years. Sure these things cost money, some more than others (Graceland is up to a cool thirty bones these days I believe.), but in the long run, going to a few places over the course of the week won't be nearly the fiscal burden that an out of town vacation would be.

3) Discount Theaters:
Of course everyone is excited to see Harry Potter or Bruno this summer, but at almost ten dollars a ticket plus the cost of popcorn, a drink and candy, you're looking at spending nearly thirty dollars to take your girl or guy to the movie (all for girls paying these days). So check the internet or those newspaper things that people sometimes still get for the reduced price cinemas. Most of the times they play movies that have been out for a few weeks, but they often include popcorn and a drink with the price of admission. Besides, who doesn't want to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop again?

4) Wal-Mart Hide and Seek:
Get some friends. Head to Wal-Mart or Target. Pick teams of two or three. Take ten minutes to find ten random items throughout the store. Give the items to the other team. Follow them around and time them while they attempt to put everything back in its original location. When they finish, let them find ten items and time you while your team puts them back. Fastest time wins. Losing team treats the winners to a Coke or a beer. But make sure not to run, or you might get kicked out. If you kicked out, everyone loses and you have to start over at a new location.

5) Read a Book:
This one is simple enough. Reading never hurts, only helps. Plus it can be fun. If you're looking for a place to start, go back to the books you were supposed to read in high school. Or, if you still are bored with those, trying starting a trendy series that you've always been adamantly against. Harry Potter, Twilight, Lord of the Rings, etc.


So there it is ladies and gents. Five cheap ways to have a more exciting summer. So get off your butts, put down the remote and get out there to have some fun.

Come back next week, because I know that Wednesdays are the highlight of everyone's summer...