The Internet: messing stuff up since Al Gore created it.

Here's a Tweet for you.

"@Twitter: you suck."

OK. So maybe Twitter doesn't suck. It can be kind of funny when celebrities or your friends make funny posts or comments or post pictures (I think that's possible.), but nobody gives two craps about the kind of bagel you had for breakfast or the song you're listening to on your road trip or what your plans are for your day off.

"Oh, flippin' sweet. Andrew is on his way to the doctor's office to see if his venereal disease has cleared up."

Don't want to know this.

"Awesome! Jimmy had scrambled eggs with salsa and Tabasco for breakfast."

Sorry about your potty problems later, but I guarandamntee my day won't change knowing this.

"Jumpin' Jehoshaphat Jane is on a date with her wonderful boyfriend at Sonic."


Maybe next time he'll step up his game, but outside of your ex-boyfriend, few people have use for this info.

It's plain and simple. There are more important things to worry about in the world. Same goes for facebook statuses. Sometimes they can be nice when they share an article or video or picture with your friends, but ultimately they are used to relay worthless, nonsensical info.

(If you want more info on this concept of poor usage of Twitter, facebook and any other number of social BS (not Bachelor of Sciences) sites, see my first post on blogs and substitute Twitter and such every time you see the word blog.)

But now onto the serious matter...

The Internet is killing me smalls. It's overcrowded with writing and music and videos and everything in between. And now I'm part of the problem.

Let's explore the idea shall we...?

Say old man Mark Twain aka Sammy Clemens was trying to pen The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in 2009. You know, to make some Benjamins to support his illegitimate children Jesse Jackson style. After writing it, he's going to have to get it out there. But there are a few problems that arise. First off, his market is going to be considerably different than in the 19th century. People want blood and guts and sexy time and Robert Langdon these days if they are even going to consider sitting down to read a book. But second, and more importantly, he's going to have to know somebody who knows somebody who knows SOME BO DY to even have a chance at getting his story out there.

Or let's say John and Paul and the boys from Liverpool (heavy Liverpool accent implied) just formed The Beatles last week and want to get their career up and going so the world can hear the brilliance they're creating. They're going to need a crazy new sound, an enormous pair of bass drums (think Britney Spears) or a ridiculous connection in the music industry to have any shot.

Or finally imagine if Spielberg wants ET to phone home in every house in America for the first time next month sometime. It's not going to be easy to pitch an idea for a weird ass movie in a day and age where everyone and his brother has a movie to make.


So where do these legends turn nowadays?

The Internet.

It used to be really hard to get noticed for your artistic talents. You had to be really, really good at what you did or you had to be really wealthy to get your stuff produced en mass. Or maybe you had a friend with an uncle who knew a guy in whatever "biz" you were trying to conquer. Getting a book published or an album recorded or a movie made was a royal pain in the ass until about 15 years ago. And getting any credit or heaven forbid money for it was even harder.

But now we have the good ole world wide web and easy access to nearly every household outside the Third World. We have millions of writers and bands and movies and webisodes and even painters with websites and myspace pages and blogs (Yes. I know what you're thinking.) just waiting for their big break to fall in their lap. If all the aforementioned icons of their fields hadn't gotten their start until after the e-revolution began, would they still be famous? Who knows. But I do know that their are thousands of super talented people out there, probably more, trying to get their stuff noticed. Chances are they won't make it big. Chances are they'll give up and settle for menial work at restaurants and accounting firms and boring, sit behind a desk all freaking day jobs. Those chances are both sad and sucky.

It's pretty upsetting that the greatest resource the world will ever know is also responsible for an overload of various forms of art that will probably never be seen.

Hell, in 10 or 20 years when the Baby Boomers start dying out there probably won't be newspapers any more. I read the paper everyday. On the Internet. And it's free and doesn't leave ink on my fingers. Why should I pay for a hard copy when I get my coffee and park my buns in front of my computer screen and get all the same news and then some every morning?

It's also really sad that some of the stuff that is earning credibility in the music and literature and television and film worlds is all garbage. I mean do people really enjoy Nickelback and their awe inspiring lyrics? Do the masses love watching movies starring Hillary Duff? How many people actually think that Lauren Conrad's fiction novel is worth reading? It's insane that these people are praised for what they do when there are multitudes out there producing superior work. But since the Internet is the only way to put it out there, their chances of becoming any more than an inspiring fill in the blank is next to nothing.

I understand I'm an inspiring fill in the blank. And I'm OK with that for now. But one day I'll have to succumb to the idea that it probably won't go much further than a weekly blog. Maybe I'm not even talented and don't deserve anything more, but I promise there are people out there that deserve a lot more credit than they are receiving. So take a minute and find a new blog besides Stuff White People Like (Which I applaud for turning into a cultural phenomenon.) or find an up and coming band that you really like and share them with your friends.

I really can't do much more than bitch and moan about this one, but I think it makes sense. I hope you do too.


Thanks for giving me a few minutes of your week. It means a lot when that little counter on the right has a few more numbers on it every day.

On a lighter note: Wednesdays with Warner Reader of the Month goes to "Joseph". See comments on Just(ice) a Travesty for proof why. You my friend are set for a long, great career in politics or law one day. Just don't have an affair and screw it up John Edwards style. My apologies for my Spammy research and writing.