Everyone needs a week off...

This is mine. Come back next week for what I'm sure you're going to miss this week.

Thanks for understanding.


XOXO

The Joy of Single-Sex Education

A few Fridays back, I stood sweating in the midst of a tiny, 90 degree kitchen. With hordes of people munching on hummus, sharing margaritas and waiting on their gyros, I used one hand to grill the various things we offer on the menu and with the other hand clutched my cellular telephone in my pocket waiting ever so excitedly for it to vibrate. Every time it buzzed my heart went to my throat. I wasn't, as you might expect, waiting for a girl to text me back or waiting for a call about an ailing relative. Instead I was eagerly anticipating score updates from my high school's football game that evening.

You see, my little all boy's private school was playing perennial national football powerhouse, South Panola on this particular Friday night, and despite being almost five years removed from high school, I still clung to the phone with all my hopes for the night resting with Memphis University School and a bunch of kids I didn't know trying their darnedest to bring home a victory. In the end, MUS did in fact win, defeating South Panola at home for the first time since 2001. Go Buzzards.

But my weekly rant really has little to do with football today and more to do with why it was so important to me, a now college grad to support my Alma mater.

I have a lot of friends. I mean a lot. OK. Maybe not a ton, but a good many. And very few of them still have any desire to keep up with their high schools' goings on. It's just not a big deal to them. It was a phase of their lives that is over, so they move on, and don't worry about it. But all of the guys I graduated with still have a very deep-seated connection to MUS. They want to know how the football team is doing, what teachers have left, what the senior prank was, etc. MUS was a place that they loved and that they continue to cherish even into their twenties, thirties and in most cases until they die (no exaggeration).

But why?


Why do MUS grads continue to love and support their old high school and why do most other people just graduate and leave it at that? Because MUS, along with most other all male schools, offers more than just an education. It offers a brotherhood, a camaraderie that is hard to find elsewhere.

Outside of the Carolina's, Virginia, Massachusetts and Tennessee, all boys schools are pretty rare. Even people from Mississippi thought it was crazy I only went to school with guys when I got to college. They threw out the typical, "Oh, I bet you're gay," or "Didn't it suck never seeing girls?" when they heard that a same sex environment is where I spent my teenage years. And despite long conversations trying to explain why I, and all the other students, loved it so much, they just couldn't come to an understanding of it. "Dude I would never go to a guys school," is pretty much all I ever got as a response. And surprisingly enough, girls thought it was even crazier than guys did when I would tell them about it. Go figure.


But really, I loved every second of high school. Not because I was the big jock, or Mr. Popular or even the smartest, most well read student there, but because every day I got up to go to school and knew I would get to have fun at school with the guys. We would laugh and cut up and joke with each other and the mostly male teachers and even work really hard to do well as far as our studies went. We had actual relationships with teachers. We had actual relationships with one another. (NO. Not gay ones.) We didn't have to worry about dealing with girls or impressing anyone or seeing our ex the day after we broke up with them. It was just a relaxed atmosphere to learn in and in my humble opinion it was the best atmosphere in which to learn.

I'm not trying to sell MUS with this piece. MUS sells it self quite frankly. I just wish that people could understand why my high school is still so important to me and its other graduates after all the years that have passed since we graduated.

The looks I got that night in the kitchen when I was jumping up and down celebrating a touchdown I didn't even witness made me feel like I was crazy. But I know I'm not. And if my coworkers, or anyone else who didn't get to, had experienced MUS or another all boys school firsthand, they'd know I'm not crazy too. It's just something you have to be a part of to understand I guess. I'm really thankful I was a part of it. I'll always keep up with MUS and will always be an Owl no matter where my life might lead me.

I'll end with this. I sang in Beg to Differ, the a cappella group (think Rockappella) at MUS. You could say we were pretty good. But after graduation, we all packed up and went to sing for a few weeks in France. After several shows around the country, we concluded with a performance in Notre Dame. This is what John Hiltonsmith, our director had to say about it.

"In that particular performance, we had 20-plus teenage boys who had, for the first time as an ensemble, connected emotionally and spiritually with the music. Many of the singers were reduced to tears. It was the single most memorable event of my entire musical career."

And this is what, Charles Askew, fellow member and friend of mine had to say about it.

"Looking up at the Rose window, we must have all felt something like the presence of God. I'll be forever thankful to Mr. Hiltonsmith for that day."

Moments like that one don't come along everyday. In one performance, over 20 lives were changed, both adults and young men, and without a place like MUS that encourages such experiences it never would have happened.

MUS and other schools like it are in the business of educating young men, but more than anything else, they are in the business of producing young men with character and values, ones that stand out in the world. MUS's, marketing slogan is "MUS: The School Where Boys Letter in Life." It might be cheesy, but it's right.


Go Owls...

Kanye and T-Swift: What's with all the fuss?

If you haven't turned on a TV, surfed the web or listened to a radio since Sunday then you've missed some groundbreaking pop culture news. (And no, I'm not talking about the death of Patrick Swayze.) Rap icon Kanye West in his infinite tactfulness interrupted Taylor Swift's MTV Video Music Award acceptance speech for her win of Best Female Video because in Kanye's opinion, Beyonce made one of the best videos ever for "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)." And we later found out that even though "Single Ladies" didn't win Best Female Video, it did win Best Video of the Year, which of course makes SO much sense. But hey, when does MTV make much sense?

But here's the deal:

None of it matters.

It would have been one thing if Kanye had toted a Glock on stage and fired it a few times in the air to prove his point. Or if the ghost of Michael Jackson had floated from the clouds to protest Swift's win. Or even if Chris Brown had replaced Kanye in the scenario and punched T-Swift before taking the mic. But none of that happened. Instead an egomaniac that does publicity stunts like this once every month or so just waltzed onto the stage and made his opinion heard. Big deal.

Now I understand that it probably crushed Taylor's spirit, but let's look at the sitch from a cynic's perspective for a brief moment. There are really three reasons that this whole ordeal is not worth any one's, let alone my precious time.

1) Taylor Swift should have prayed she didn't even win the Best Female Video VMA. The list of past winners is like a walk down crappy memory lane save for three or so of the victors.

Cyndi Lauper, Paula Abdul, Janet Jackson, Britney Spears, Tina Turner, Whitney Houston, Annie Lennox, KD Lang and Suzanne Vega?

Let's see, two 80's mall pop princesses, one who has a bad drinking problem and can barely speak intelligibly on American Idol, Michael Jackson's less crazy sister, Britney Spears (enough said), two battered and bruised African American divas, a bald chick who hates the Pope, a former Lilith Fair staple that looks like a man and some girl I've never heard of. Is this the company Taylor really wants to keep so early in her promising career? I think not.

While Aaliyah is a credible winner, her tragic fate is not one Taylor wants to meet. And Eve and Pink are fine if you like girls with bad taste in hair and fashion with a few top 10 hits. So that leaves Alanis, Beyonce and Kelly Clarkson. Not bad paths to follow, but the latter two's careers are still young. Give it ten years and they might be the next Tina Turner and Cyndi Lauper.

Point is, there might be a curse on this award. Beware to future winners. As for you Taylor, don't marry an abusive guy, blow a lot of powder or marry and have a baby with your white trash back up dancer and you should be fine as long as you still keep making mediocre country music.

2) MTV no longer carries any credibility as far as music is concerned. When Music Television started in 1984, it played MUSIC videos. All the time. It was where people went to find new music. You saw a video you liked and you went out and bought the album. That was how the music world worked until roughly 1997 when MTV fell prey to reality TV. Now if you want to catch some good music videos, you have to wake up at the crack of dawn and can only enjoy them until about 8 AM, but for the other twenty-one hours all MTV broadcasts is, well, for lack of better terms... garbage. If you haven't watched it much lately, give it an hour of your time and then feel free to ache for the youth that are raised on this junk.

If MTV wanted to have a respected awards show nowadays, the execs should probably consider something along the lines of the Razzies. That would make more sense with what MTV brings to the entertainment table these days.

If this all went down at the Grammy's then yes, Kanye was way in the wrong because the Grammy's are backed by a long suited tradition of excellence in the music world. But it happened on MTV, a network that once upon a time was built around being cutting edge. Now something crazy like this happens and the entire world freaks the heck out. Remember in 1993 when Snoop Dogg was arrested literally right after the VMA's for being a suspect in a drive by shooting? That's cutting edge. Or in '92 when Nirvana and Guns n Roses almost came to blows after verbally sparring most of the night? That's cutting edge. Or in 2000 when Rage Against the Machine member Tim Commerford climbed the set, flipped out and threatened to jump. Also cutting edge.

But no more cutting edge. No more music. No more excitement for anyone but junior high kids and people that wish they were still junior high kids. Sorry MTV, but today you are the dregs of the television world.

And last:

3) Nobody should feel sorry for Taylor Swift. This only adds to her sweet, innocent girl persona.


"Aww. Poor girl got interrupted. She's such a martyr."

Wrong. She's a 19 year old girl with more money than she knows what to do with, a horde of teenage fans with more spending power than I'll probably ever know, an additional horde of creepy old guy fans that send her inappropriate Polaroids by the thousands and a career that has taken country music by storm. Move over Leann Rimes and Shania, here comes the new country diva and her name is Taylor. She's the biggest thing in the world right now, and even I succumb to her catchy tunes. Really, I mean who can resist her smile and her sweet melodies? So why should I feel sorry that she got upstaged by a jealous Kanye West? Why should anyone? She's got perhaps the brightest future of anyone in this country right now and we should cry for her? No. Instead we should kick our feet back and laugh at the whole soap opera that happened Sunday night. Because it's funny. I think Kanye is a genius. Because while her record sales went up the next day, I can almost guarantee his did too.

So T-Swift and Kanye? What a silly little story. What a big waste of time media outlets have spent reporting it. It's just not worth headline news. Maybe an occasional blog or spot on TMZ or in US Weekly, but not CNN, Fox or NBC. There are more important things to worry about. This fluff is just that, fluff.

Oh. And apparently even the leader of the free world has an opinion. To quote Mr. Obama on Kanye, "He's a jackass."

Swine Flu or Swine Fluke?

Good news for everyone:

Scorsese's signed on, however the pig from Babe is still in some intense contract negotiations. With any luck, by Thanksgiving of 2010 you'll be headed to the nearest cinema to enjoy "Outbreak 2: Babe's Revenge." I can't wait.

All joking aside, which it never should be, the Swine Flu is sweeping the nation, taking down hordes of people for 72 hours or so. So are we going to watch the world end in pandemic form? Is this Al Qaeda's secret attack? Or is it just another fly by night epidemic like Sars and West Nile Virus?

Whatever it is, it's starting to break away from it's meager one or two cases per county of the past few months and jump to numbers like one or two cases per neighborhood. My own little college town is seeing a ridiculous increase in diagnoses and is starting to turn into a Mecca for the piggy influenza. So should we fear for our lives? I personally don't think it's that big of a deal.

Now understand this: I am not a doctor or scientist or prophet, but it seems to me that the Swine Flu is the equivalent to 3 a day practices for a football team while the regular flu would be a normal week of practice. Three a day practice sessions only last for a few days, maybe a week at most and tend to be much more intensive. You dread them because you know they're coming, but after a day, you're used to it and after 3 to 5 days, it's over with and you move on. Your body hurts, your mind thinks it's the end for you and everyone you know avoids you because you probably won't be very fun to hang around. Occasionally you have a player that can't handle it and goes to the hospital, and in terrible cases, someone might die from the toll his body is taking. But for the most part, everyone makes it out just fine.

The regular flu however is like normal practice. It sucks. It drags on forever. You have days that are terrible and days that aren't so bad, but you never know when which one will occur. You still aren't much fun to be around while it's going on, but because it's just "the flu" you go on with your life and try to maintain a state of somewhat normalcy. But still, every now and then you have someone who just can't handle it and has to go the emergency room, and in pretty frequent cases some people die from it.

When the Swine Flu first broke in late weeks of April, the nation was flipping its proverbial [expletive]. In three weeks, something like 7 people had died from it. In the same amount of time something like 700 people had died of the regular, ho-hum, everyday version of the flu. Of course those figures are made up on the spot, as most figures are, but I promise I'm not far off. And for me, those numbers don't seem too bad. If I had to choose between the two, I'd take the Swine kind because it makes for a better story.

So what now?

We deal with it. In the past months, more people have gotten it, and more people have survived it. Some people have probably had it and not even known it. I think these are good signs. So if you think you have it, go to the doctor, get your scrips filled, enjoy the codeine vacation in your bed and rent the first season of Trueblood. (I promise you'll be hooked.)



Your other option is to be convinced you're dying or are going to get real sick and if you have that 'tude about it, you probably will get a lot sicker than you should. Your immune system is like 85% mental (again figure made up), so if you let the pigs control you, they will, but if you say, "Hey Gordy, get the flip off me and let me live my life," then you're going to be OK.

After spending my morning at the student health center on the beautiful campus of Ole Miss with my swine infected lady friend, I'm pretty convinced that this too shall pass, and one day we'll watch "Babe 3: Kill 'Em All"* and have a good laugh about it.

But until that day, drink your Vitamin Water as I am right now, and tell the pig to step off.

Besides could something this sweet kill us all...?


*There was actually a sequel to Babe called "Babe: Pig in the City." I must've missed that one. Shucks.

The Internet: messing stuff up since Al Gore created it.

Here's a Tweet for you.

"@Twitter: you suck."

OK. So maybe Twitter doesn't suck. It can be kind of funny when celebrities or your friends make funny posts or comments or post pictures (I think that's possible.), but nobody gives two craps about the kind of bagel you had for breakfast or the song you're listening to on your road trip or what your plans are for your day off.

"Oh, flippin' sweet. Andrew is on his way to the doctor's office to see if his venereal disease has cleared up."

Don't want to know this.

"Awesome! Jimmy had scrambled eggs with salsa and Tabasco for breakfast."

Sorry about your potty problems later, but I guarandamntee my day won't change knowing this.

"Jumpin' Jehoshaphat Jane is on a date with her wonderful boyfriend at Sonic."


Maybe next time he'll step up his game, but outside of your ex-boyfriend, few people have use for this info.

It's plain and simple. There are more important things to worry about in the world. Same goes for facebook statuses. Sometimes they can be nice when they share an article or video or picture with your friends, but ultimately they are used to relay worthless, nonsensical info.

(If you want more info on this concept of poor usage of Twitter, facebook and any other number of social BS (not Bachelor of Sciences) sites, see my first post on blogs and substitute Twitter and such every time you see the word blog.)

But now onto the serious matter...

The Internet is killing me smalls. It's overcrowded with writing and music and videos and everything in between. And now I'm part of the problem.

Let's explore the idea shall we...?

Say old man Mark Twain aka Sammy Clemens was trying to pen The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in 2009. You know, to make some Benjamins to support his illegitimate children Jesse Jackson style. After writing it, he's going to have to get it out there. But there are a few problems that arise. First off, his market is going to be considerably different than in the 19th century. People want blood and guts and sexy time and Robert Langdon these days if they are even going to consider sitting down to read a book. But second, and more importantly, he's going to have to know somebody who knows somebody who knows SOME BO DY to even have a chance at getting his story out there.

Or let's say John and Paul and the boys from Liverpool (heavy Liverpool accent implied) just formed The Beatles last week and want to get their career up and going so the world can hear the brilliance they're creating. They're going to need a crazy new sound, an enormous pair of bass drums (think Britney Spears) or a ridiculous connection in the music industry to have any shot.

Or finally imagine if Spielberg wants ET to phone home in every house in America for the first time next month sometime. It's not going to be easy to pitch an idea for a weird ass movie in a day and age where everyone and his brother has a movie to make.


So where do these legends turn nowadays?

The Internet.

It used to be really hard to get noticed for your artistic talents. You had to be really, really good at what you did or you had to be really wealthy to get your stuff produced en mass. Or maybe you had a friend with an uncle who knew a guy in whatever "biz" you were trying to conquer. Getting a book published or an album recorded or a movie made was a royal pain in the ass until about 15 years ago. And getting any credit or heaven forbid money for it was even harder.

But now we have the good ole world wide web and easy access to nearly every household outside the Third World. We have millions of writers and bands and movies and webisodes and even painters with websites and myspace pages and blogs (Yes. I know what you're thinking.) just waiting for their big break to fall in their lap. If all the aforementioned icons of their fields hadn't gotten their start until after the e-revolution began, would they still be famous? Who knows. But I do know that their are thousands of super talented people out there, probably more, trying to get their stuff noticed. Chances are they won't make it big. Chances are they'll give up and settle for menial work at restaurants and accounting firms and boring, sit behind a desk all freaking day jobs. Those chances are both sad and sucky.

It's pretty upsetting that the greatest resource the world will ever know is also responsible for an overload of various forms of art that will probably never be seen.

Hell, in 10 or 20 years when the Baby Boomers start dying out there probably won't be newspapers any more. I read the paper everyday. On the Internet. And it's free and doesn't leave ink on my fingers. Why should I pay for a hard copy when I get my coffee and park my buns in front of my computer screen and get all the same news and then some every morning?

It's also really sad that some of the stuff that is earning credibility in the music and literature and television and film worlds is all garbage. I mean do people really enjoy Nickelback and their awe inspiring lyrics? Do the masses love watching movies starring Hillary Duff? How many people actually think that Lauren Conrad's fiction novel is worth reading? It's insane that these people are praised for what they do when there are multitudes out there producing superior work. But since the Internet is the only way to put it out there, their chances of becoming any more than an inspiring fill in the blank is next to nothing.

I understand I'm an inspiring fill in the blank. And I'm OK with that for now. But one day I'll have to succumb to the idea that it probably won't go much further than a weekly blog. Maybe I'm not even talented and don't deserve anything more, but I promise there are people out there that deserve a lot more credit than they are receiving. So take a minute and find a new blog besides Stuff White People Like (Which I applaud for turning into a cultural phenomenon.) or find an up and coming band that you really like and share them with your friends.

I really can't do much more than bitch and moan about this one, but I think it makes sense. I hope you do too.


Thanks for giving me a few minutes of your week. It means a lot when that little counter on the right has a few more numbers on it every day.

On a lighter note: Wednesdays with Warner Reader of the Month goes to "Joseph". See comments on Just(ice) a Travesty for proof why. You my friend are set for a long, great career in politics or law one day. Just don't have an affair and screw it up John Edwards style. My apologies for my Spammy research and writing.