Hootie and the Alanis Morissette-Fish

In the fall of 1996, I, Warner Russell, being nearly ten years old was on the brink of becoming very fascinated with music, in particular live concerts. I had seen Mr. Jimmy Buffett at the ripe age of seven with my parents, and in the ever crucial fourth grade year, I had an important decision to make. My dad told me he would take me to see one concert at the now empty and worthless Pyramid Arena. Fortunately, either act I picked would be one that almost guaranteed an enjoyable experience. But which would I choose? Would I choose the angry, bitter, pale female, or the happy go lucky guys from South Carolina?

If you haven't figured it out by now, I had the option to see either Alanis Morissette or Hootie and the Blowfish.

To avoid any more suspense for you, I will go ahead and tell you I picked Hootie.

But this edition of my weekly rant has nothing much to do with that concert in particular, or the three or four other times I've gone swimming with the Blowfish. Mainly I just wanted to look at how one big debut album can rocket a person or a band into the spotlight, and then crush them because no subsequent releases will ever live up to the original.

First, Ms. Morissette:

Technincally Jagged Little Pill was not Alanis' debut, but if you can name her two previous albums, (both released while she was still a high school student in Canada nonetheless) I would be quite flabbergasted.

But it is undeniable how successful Jagged Little Pill was. Six of the twelve tracks became hit singles. It taught kids how to cuss, really well. And everyone who was born in 1988 or before probably knows every word to the uber-incredible "Ironic." She even won four Grammy's after being nominated for six. It is one of three albums to stay in the top for over a year. While this is all really good and impressive, the real amazing feat is how many copies of this album were sold. It sold 33 million albums. That's 33x platinum. Three times diamond. Ridiculous numbers. The fourteenth best selling album... of all time. And Dirty Dancing shouldn't count, so we'll say thirteenth since we can eliminate Swayze's soundtrack of shame.

To put this in perspective, to show how monumental this album was, a brief anecdote: my freshman year of college, a friend, now roommate, popped in my dorm room and was browsing through my CD's. I told him he could borrow whatever ones he wished, put them on his computer, etc. He found one out of a few hundred that he wanted. Jagged Little Pill. He tried to put it on his computer and iPod. But, "OH NO," it was scratched. He spent literally hours trying to save it, rubbing it incessantly with t-shirts, washcloths and CD cleaning wipes, and finally after a week of trying, got it to work. He informed me this morning he's recording an Alanis live show on our DVR. I guess some people just love her that much.

But what next for the Canadian, anger-pop diva extraordinaire? Exactly. I have no idea. I remember she released some album of soft, mellow ballads. It had no dirty words. No talk of flipping the bird or flicking cigarettes. It had a video that got some pretty good play on MTV and vh1 in particular, because, oh yeah, she was naked. Even the CD artwork was her in the buff. Shameful publicity stunts to sell records. Gag. The music wasn't good. She knew it. So she got nakey. Piss poor Alanis. Piss poor. (See above right: naked.)

And what's worse, realizing that nothing could ever compare to the gem of the album that was Jagged Little Pill, she released an acoustic version of it ten years later simply to appeal to the 33 million people that already bought it but had grown older and wanted something mellow to listen to while trying to seal up their second or third marriage. When they were young and angry and bitter towards their parents they listened to JLP while trying to get to second base with their future ex-spouse and now they listen to it again while drinking boxed wine in the suburbs trying to land a new future ex-spouse. Ironic, huh?

Hey, at least she landed Ryan Reynolds for a few years. He's SOOOOO funny in The Proposal.


Now for Mr. Hootie and his Blowfish:

Two words: Dan Marino. In the video for the smash hit single "Only Wanna Be With You" Dan Marino throws the old pigskin with the guys. Freaking awesome.


But when Cracked Rear View was released in 1994, I'm pretty sure the boys from South Carolina that were used to playing frat parties and drinking beer had no idea what was in store for them when David Letterman started mentioning their name on almost every episode of his show for a span of several months. I guess he just liked the band and their goofy name and wanted them to make it big. Thanks Dave.

Fifteen years later, Cracked Rear View has sold over 26 million copies making it the 33rd highest selling album ever. Again, similar to Jagged Little Pill, most people born before 1988 probably know every word to at least one song if not three or four. They were all catchy. They were all fun. They were all easy to play on the guitar to impress the ladies.

But here's the real question... Do you remember where you were when you found out Hootie, aka Darius Rucker, was black? Well I do. He was on the Today Show episode I was watching before heading to school. I was shocked, but also happy that racial barriers in the music world were still being broken down even after that terrible Vanilla Ice incident of the late 80's. Pretty sure black people still hate me for that one.

But after looking in the Cracked Rear View, what was next for the band? If you're having trouble answering, you're not alone. Fairweather Johnson, Musical Chairs, Looking for Lucky... Any of these ring a bell? Because these are the post Rear View releases. I had two of them. I listened to one song combined from those two. Oh, and they had a song on the Friends' soundtrack from that episode where Rachel and Phoebe and Joey can't afford to go to their concert but Ross and Monica and Chandler go and the guy Monica used to babysit takes them backstage and she gets a hickey from a Blowfish. Yeah, it's a good episode. Joey and Rachel and Phoebe however sit at home and play "How Many Fingers is Joey Holding Up?". At least Matt LeBlanc had some success after Friends. Joey was the best sit-com EVER!

Now, HATB are defunct. No more releases from the guys, completely eliminating them from ever having their initial success duplicated. Darius moved on to a solo country career. Yep, a black guy singing country. But I have the album Learn to Live and I enjoy it. As for the rest of the Blowfish... who cares? And who could forget the Burger King Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch?


I'll close with this, another anecdote to put Hootie in perspective for you. I went to see them in Memphis a few years back at the Botanic Gardens, a lovely outdoor venue for older people to come see the bands they would once wait in line for hours to see. People bring picnics and lawn chairs and wine and sit and watch the show. A very enjoyable atmosphere to say the least. But as I sat and watched, the guitarist, whose name is unimportant, said he was going to invite a good friend of the band out to sit in on a song. Being from Memphis, people get excited at concerts when things like this are said. Justin Timberlake? BB King? Steve Cropper? Nope. John Daly. John "Fat Ass, Terrible, Redneck, Alcoholic, Gambling Fiend, Golfer" Daly came out and played "Knocking on Heaven's Door" with Hootie and the Blowfish. Piss poor Hootie. Piss poor. (It was hard not to use his mug shot.)

So here's to you Alanis and Hootie. Thanks for making me cool in elementary school because I had your CD's. And thanks for making me a huge dork for still listening to them at age 22.

PS: I will be going to see Darius Rucker play hits from his solo album at Sam's Town Casino, Tunica in October. I hope he takes a swim down Blowfish memory lane and plays some Hootie classics.