The Internet: messing stuff up since Al Gore created it.

Here's a Tweet for you.

"@Twitter: you suck."

OK. So maybe Twitter doesn't suck. It can be kind of funny when celebrities or your friends make funny posts or comments or post pictures (I think that's possible.), but nobody gives two craps about the kind of bagel you had for breakfast or the song you're listening to on your road trip or what your plans are for your day off.

"Oh, flippin' sweet. Andrew is on his way to the doctor's office to see if his venereal disease has cleared up."

Don't want to know this.

"Awesome! Jimmy had scrambled eggs with salsa and Tabasco for breakfast."

Sorry about your potty problems later, but I guarandamntee my day won't change knowing this.

"Jumpin' Jehoshaphat Jane is on a date with her wonderful boyfriend at Sonic."


Maybe next time he'll step up his game, but outside of your ex-boyfriend, few people have use for this info.

It's plain and simple. There are more important things to worry about in the world. Same goes for facebook statuses. Sometimes they can be nice when they share an article or video or picture with your friends, but ultimately they are used to relay worthless, nonsensical info.

(If you want more info on this concept of poor usage of Twitter, facebook and any other number of social BS (not Bachelor of Sciences) sites, see my first post on blogs and substitute Twitter and such every time you see the word blog.)

But now onto the serious matter...

The Internet is killing me smalls. It's overcrowded with writing and music and videos and everything in between. And now I'm part of the problem.

Let's explore the idea shall we...?

Say old man Mark Twain aka Sammy Clemens was trying to pen The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in 2009. You know, to make some Benjamins to support his illegitimate children Jesse Jackson style. After writing it, he's going to have to get it out there. But there are a few problems that arise. First off, his market is going to be considerably different than in the 19th century. People want blood and guts and sexy time and Robert Langdon these days if they are even going to consider sitting down to read a book. But second, and more importantly, he's going to have to know somebody who knows somebody who knows SOME BO DY to even have a chance at getting his story out there.

Or let's say John and Paul and the boys from Liverpool (heavy Liverpool accent implied) just formed The Beatles last week and want to get their career up and going so the world can hear the brilliance they're creating. They're going to need a crazy new sound, an enormous pair of bass drums (think Britney Spears) or a ridiculous connection in the music industry to have any shot.

Or finally imagine if Spielberg wants ET to phone home in every house in America for the first time next month sometime. It's not going to be easy to pitch an idea for a weird ass movie in a day and age where everyone and his brother has a movie to make.


So where do these legends turn nowadays?

The Internet.

It used to be really hard to get noticed for your artistic talents. You had to be really, really good at what you did or you had to be really wealthy to get your stuff produced en mass. Or maybe you had a friend with an uncle who knew a guy in whatever "biz" you were trying to conquer. Getting a book published or an album recorded or a movie made was a royal pain in the ass until about 15 years ago. And getting any credit or heaven forbid money for it was even harder.

But now we have the good ole world wide web and easy access to nearly every household outside the Third World. We have millions of writers and bands and movies and webisodes and even painters with websites and myspace pages and blogs (Yes. I know what you're thinking.) just waiting for their big break to fall in their lap. If all the aforementioned icons of their fields hadn't gotten their start until after the e-revolution began, would they still be famous? Who knows. But I do know that their are thousands of super talented people out there, probably more, trying to get their stuff noticed. Chances are they won't make it big. Chances are they'll give up and settle for menial work at restaurants and accounting firms and boring, sit behind a desk all freaking day jobs. Those chances are both sad and sucky.

It's pretty upsetting that the greatest resource the world will ever know is also responsible for an overload of various forms of art that will probably never be seen.

Hell, in 10 or 20 years when the Baby Boomers start dying out there probably won't be newspapers any more. I read the paper everyday. On the Internet. And it's free and doesn't leave ink on my fingers. Why should I pay for a hard copy when I get my coffee and park my buns in front of my computer screen and get all the same news and then some every morning?

It's also really sad that some of the stuff that is earning credibility in the music and literature and television and film worlds is all garbage. I mean do people really enjoy Nickelback and their awe inspiring lyrics? Do the masses love watching movies starring Hillary Duff? How many people actually think that Lauren Conrad's fiction novel is worth reading? It's insane that these people are praised for what they do when there are multitudes out there producing superior work. But since the Internet is the only way to put it out there, their chances of becoming any more than an inspiring fill in the blank is next to nothing.

I understand I'm an inspiring fill in the blank. And I'm OK with that for now. But one day I'll have to succumb to the idea that it probably won't go much further than a weekly blog. Maybe I'm not even talented and don't deserve anything more, but I promise there are people out there that deserve a lot more credit than they are receiving. So take a minute and find a new blog besides Stuff White People Like (Which I applaud for turning into a cultural phenomenon.) or find an up and coming band that you really like and share them with your friends.

I really can't do much more than bitch and moan about this one, but I think it makes sense. I hope you do too.


Thanks for giving me a few minutes of your week. It means a lot when that little counter on the right has a few more numbers on it every day.

On a lighter note: Wednesdays with Warner Reader of the Month goes to "Joseph". See comments on Just(ice) a Travesty for proof why. You my friend are set for a long, great career in politics or law one day. Just don't have an affair and screw it up John Edwards style. My apologies for my Spammy research and writing.

Blogging. How romantic. Not.

Well...

I guess since I no longer have a tangible avenue with which to share my thoughts and opinions that I will succumb to the dark side of web logging or blogging as I've heard it referred to as. I decided after my tenure at the University of Mississippi ended earlier today that I would need to continue to hone my writing skills in some facet since The Daily Mississippian can no longer be the source of gainful employment or media exposure that it has conveniently been for the last sixteen months or so. And after an hour plus of fidgeting with all of my options as far as this site's appearance goes, I quickly have realized that I hate blogging. But for your sake, all seven of you, I will persevere and get the ball rolling for my Wednesdays with Warner blog.

So, as it seems pertinent to to the situation at hand, I will address the whole concept of "the blog" in this week's post. A lot of people are using blogs these days. Professors, employers, girls in love with the Jonas Brothers, boys in love with the Jonas Brothers, accountants, lawyers, and so many more have all turned to the trendy and simple life of blogging to share their ideas, secrets, recipes, and fave J Bros. songs and hair do's (personally I really like Jesse McCartney, but you can check out warnysjmacblog.blogspot.com for more info on that topic).

But really, what makes the blog such a great thing? Isn't it just another website that you can update all the time to share useless things with the web using world (see myspace, facebook, and Twitter)? I mean I guess it is easier than learning a whole different language like HTML or those other weird codes that our computer geek friends know and speak to one another. But if we take web design and the like away from them, what are they going to have to be better at than the rest of the world? What if all the techies revolt and kill all the normal people? If we normals continue blogging at the pace we are right now, then life as we know it could be over. So in order to prevent this hostile take over by our computer savvy, pale, nonathletic friends, I will attempt to address some of the blogs out there in cyberspace that are absolutely worthless and others that life wouldn't be the same without...

I'll go ahead and get the one that pisses everyone off out of the way first so you can stop reading and start hating me before wasting any more time.

1) Travel Blogs:
I understand that people love to travel, especially college age people. You love to go abroad and carry your over sized North Face packs around and look very American. You try your hardest to fit in by buying trendy Italian clothes, but you inevitably stick out like sore thumbs, to put it in terms of a terrible cliche. And you miss your friends back at school SO much that you just want to tell them everything. So instead of writing e-mails or even facebook messages or using Skype or even trying your best at handwritten letters, you create blogs. And they always have such deep titles. "Walking into a Spanish Sunset" or "When in Rome..." or "Finally. France." are all such poignant headings over a background of your futile attempts at artsy photography. And you post these blogs on your facebook walls and expect your friends to read them word for word. And when they don't you get offended. Maybe it's because your friends back home don't want to be just another follower of another blog. Or they might want to hear about your great travels when you get home. Or maybe they realize not every freaking detail is important. While they want to know about the crazy train ride across Spain that you almost didn't make, they really could care less about the blister you have on your heel from walking around, all day, every day in your new shoes. So do us a favor all you study abroad bloggers. Spare us the extra website we grudgingly put on our toolbar and write us an email. It means a lot more than typing in a website once every few days to try to keep up with your wicked sweet travels.

2) Life Blogs:
I don't care what time you woke up or where you ate lunch or what you wore to work. And I sure don't care enough to read about it online. If I wanted to know the mundane details of your life, I would call you. And if that is all that is interesting enough to tell people about on a daily or weekly basis, yikes. Good luck with your future endeavors. It's going to be a rough road ahead.

3) Event Blogs:
It might seem easy for weddings and birthday parties and anniversary parties to be put into a blog, but it just seems a bit selfish. This is our story. This is where we got engaged. This is what I want for my birthday. If you feel the need to let the whole world know about all of this, then you're wrong. Again, e-mails and facebook groups are better formats to use to share this info with those that need to know. Sorry to all those of my engaged friends out there.

Now for the blogs we can't go without looking at daily.

1) fmylife.com:
If you haven't been, go now. You will feel much better about your life immediately.

2) textsfromlastnight.com:
Be prepared to laugh until you might throw up. The name explains it all. Text messages ranging from being drunk to having promiscuous sex to overhearing murder confessions can all be found on this life changing blog.

3) Class Blogs:
Professors and teachers should be applauded for going electronic. It is so nice to have a syllabus available online anytime and every assignment posted daily with an e-mail reminder sent to you the day before. It's every slacker's dream and every overachievers most visited site. On behalf of college and high school students everywhere, thank you.

So blogging. Kick ass. I'm not a solution but a part of the problem now. And a hypocrite. But what else is new? Hopefully this blog will be amusing for the few of you that might read it. But probably not. And I'm ok with that. I'll move on. And I'll keep writing despite the fact.

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for more...
Warner