Thank You Carson Daly

As a college grad without a job, I find comfort in very few things. The TBS Breakroom, a peanut butter and honey sandwich, and my roommate's Nintendo 64 are probably the top three. And I'm out of peanut butter right now if that says anything about the way things are going.

However, last night as I flipped through the channels before bed, I came across NBC's late, late, late night show, Last Call with Carson Daly, and I immediately felt more relaxed about my future.

When I was a lowly sixth grader, I remember gluing myself to the television every afternoon to see what Carson Daly had to say about the days top music videos on Total Request Live. I remember him having a passionate love affair with the woman of my dreams at the time, Jennifer Love Hewitt. And I remember thinking it was pretty damn cool that he painted two fingernails on each hand black.

After his tenure on TRL, Carson moved on to bigger and brighter things, namely, Tara Reid, Hollywood's favorite party girl. But in 2002 he began his stint hosting his current, aforementioned project, Last Call.

So as an impressionable pre-teen and later, high school student, I thought that Carson Daly really had his stuff together, his ducks in a row if you would. But over time, I slowly realized that I was wrong. Somehow this very bland boy had managed to take over television's most popular network in MTV and then place himself in the running for taking over the Tonight Show without having any marketable skill or hook (Thank God for Jimmy Fallon, I guess.). Carson Daly, my friends, is the epitome of mediocrity and yet he has a stronghold on both Hollywood and the media which gives great hope to the average Joes like me out there.

Let's look at the stats:
Carson Daly, aged 35 years
Birthday: June 22, 1973
Sign: Cancer
Height: tallish
Weight: has seen both skinny and pudgy days
Religious Views: Catholic
Political Views: Catholic and famous = liberal
Funny: no
Musical: doubt it
Attractive: from a heterosexual male's point of view, no
Wikipedia Page: short, very short, shorter than former Nickelodeon Guts' host Mike O'Malley's (pictured above right)

So what we have in Carson Daly is a guy, a very average guy, who happened to be in the right place at the right time.

I'm not trying to knock the guy by any means. Would I trade places with him? Absolutely. Do I think I have more to offer than he does? Maybe. Would the world be able to survive without him in show biz? Certainly. All I'm really trying to get at here is that Carson Daly gives a glimmer of hope to the normal guys out there, the ones who exemplify mediocrity. He's taken himself to amazing heights without being able to offer the world much more than a monotonous voice and bad jokes. So thank you Carson Daly. Thank you for helping me to feel better about myself. Hell you were once young, white, and unemployed just like me. But look at you now. A star among stars. A beautiful Hollywood story. Just a small step away from being as cool as, well, Jimmy Kimmel.



Who knows, maybe one day I might be able to light up a TV the way my man Carson does. If he can do it, anyone can. But right now, it's time for the TBS Breakroom and a honey sandwich. Yep. Just honey.